6 Positions You Can Use to Sleep Your Way To The Top And What It Says About You

In my last post, titled 15 Wildly Inappropriate and Completely Untrue Click Bait Titles, I let you vote for the title you liked best and offered to write the article for it. 

Well, the votes are in and it looks like you naughty nymphs really wanted to know which 6 positions you can use to sleep your way to the top and what it says about you. 

Getting to the top in the business world can be a struggle when you’re a woman in a man’s world. Longer hours for lesser pay can leave a girl feeling tired and washed out.

It’s time for women like you to take the power back and get caught with your pants down. With these 6 positions, you can regain the influence you need to sleep your way to the top of the corporate ladder.

On Your Knees:
This may seem like a submissive pose, but really it’s a power position. The man feels like he’s in control because typically he’s in a standing position, but really, all you have to do is chomp down and it’s over.

Only the most patient of liars should attempt this one. It’s a lot of work for the final goal, but well worth it. He’ll be signing that promotion for you while his eyes roll back in his head.

You’re the kind of girl who likes to tell little white lies, and love the rush of getting caught in public places. You are introverted but have an extroverted sexual streak that helps you go for what you want.

You are a pretender. You think you can sleep your way to the top by laying down and letting him stick it in you, but you don’t understand how this works. It’s really hard for him to enjoy it when you can’t even bring yourself to pretend a moan of enjoyment. If you can’t at least enjoy the process of sleeping your way to the top, you’ll end up ripping your eyes out before you make it halfway there. Reevaluate your reasons for wanting to get to the top.

You are incredibly self-centred and boring. You have no friends and you think you can make people like you by sleeping with them. Reconsider what you’re doing with your life.


Reverse Cow Girl:
You want to have a great time but you don’t want to have to look at the man who will soon be beneath you, and this position facilitates not only that, but your enjoyment as well. Bonus for you, girl!
You enjoy doing what has to be done to get yourself a good spanking, and get another rung higher to the top.

You are a fun-loving but selfish woman who really enjoys having a good time. You know what you like and you make it happen. Just be careful not to steamroll people. 

Downward Facing Dog:
You laugh in the face of upper management by proffering your backside.

Whether you’re taking it up against the desk, or bent over gripping your ankles, you let him take you while you text out your plans for corporate domination to your girlfriends. Luckily for you he’s too self involved to notice, which falls perfectly into your plans for making it up the corporate ladder.

You are a rebel and a party animal. You love to run your mouth and more often than not you cross the line, but people find you so charming that you can get away with it…most of the time.

The Power Play:
The corporate man-on-top likes to be humiliated in the privacy of his own office, and you’ve set yourself up in the perfect position to give him a hand. Most of the time you don’t even need to sleep with this guy, you just have to tie him up and spank him. Little does he know that you’re in such a power position that in a moment of weakness he’d sign away his soul, or worse, his resignation.

You are an amazing people reader, which lends itself well to establishing yourself in the hierarchy of any company. You are a very strategic player in the game of life, but remember that it’s alright to set the game aside once in a while to actually enjoy the life you’re creating for yourself. 

Cow Girl:
You got this, girl. You’ll ride your way to the top and you’ll stare deep into the eyes of every man (or woman!) that you have to until you’re the boss.

You climb up on and derive great pleasure from making your way through the company, and will even linger longer on some partners over others.

You like most of the people you have to sleep with to get to the top, and you’d be surprised to discover how much they really like you.

You are a strong and passionate person with a lot of assets and you know it. You are confident and self-assured, but also emotional. Don’t let yourself fall in love before you make it to the top, or you may never let yourself get there!

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  • Martin

    I should marry you!

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